How Understanding “Turn On” Changed My Life

Last year a dear friend told me emphatically that I had to read the book “Pussy: A Reclamation”.


Last year a dear friend told me emphatically that I had to read the book “Pussy: A Reclamation”. This friend has been with me through my spiritual pursuit and walked beside me on my path. It was a radical time in my life – I was seeing light out of divorce, finding freedom in a relationship with a woman and continuing to discover aspects of myself and life.

I ordered the book immediately on Amazon.

As I turned the pages, alternating between a-ha moments and giggles, I began a new understanding of important parts of me. I started making more sense of myself as a woman and the power that I was born with. I consciously began exploring these aspects of self and very quickly decided this was the answer for finding fulfillment and being in connected control of life.


That answer, that epiphanic sensation, was turn on.

Me, turned on!

But wait, the context was nothing sexual.

The context was pleasure. What did I get inspired by, feel connected to – what made impact within me. All this was measured by how my body responded, especially my vagina, my pussy, vulva, whatever you want to call it. She was reacting to the world around me and I was finally listening. Actually, surrendering. She became my internal compass.


Here are my takeaways from reading the book and integrating my insights that I wish I could have in conversation with every woman (and man quite frankly):

We Must Reclaim the Word Pussy


What happens inside you when you say pussy? Or just think it! Does your childhood come back with notions of weakness, of boys calling each other this word, or I don’t know, something cringe worthy and gross?! We’ve taken a word that is actually used to name a (most important) female body part, more precisely the sexual and reproductive organ, and made it negative. We’ve done this with men parts as well too, like dick. It goes both ways. But there is a resolution, the revolution has begun, and we don’t have to go on this way.


So, what does the reclaiming of the word “pussy” look like? For me it looks like taking ownership of the word and giving attention to reclaiming my relationship with this powerful and physical part. It means tuning in to it and even making decisions based on its response to my life. It’s not only a meaningful recognition, but it’s quite amusing! I’ve learned that this relationship with turn on and pussy is not only vitally important for my health and well-being, it is relevant to the way I exist in and operate in the world.  


Being Turned On is Not Just About Sex


We’re conditioned to characterize the idea of being turned on in relation to sex; who you want, what position you like, what your fantasy is. My “turn on” was never a serendipitous sensation or something I was aware of in my body, except in reference to something sexual that I found exciting. While reading the book I dove deep into exploring this turn on quality in a different way, outside of the bedroom. I learned it was something I possessed that participated in other aspects of my life. I began getting more curious about what “turned me on” in work, in experiences with friends, in exploring new avenues or adventure in business, and in my relationship. This awakening occurred with me noticing when my “pussy” would respond to stimuli, not necessarily in a sexual manner – but in a feeling like a gut response, or a knowing. The stimuli was no longer just around sex (but that was enhanced!). Now a great conversation, a big idea for work, a synchronistic moment, all turned me on! This inner compass began to lead my life in a way I never before knew possible. I was letting it lead and witnessing its impact in pursuit of pleasure, power, stability, security and freedom all at once.


You Are the Maker, the Master Manifestor


You, every one of us, was born from an orgasm and built in a woman’s womb. Which means, you, are the power, not have the power, to create.


Here’s my personal process and depiction of making my visions become my reality and how my wild and wise woman part became the master of the manifestations.

Visions begin over your head.

Imagine that they’re the combination of spirit, that which is not currently tangible, and your thoughts, firing in your brain.

Now take that vision from your head and draw it down through your body.

You begin to speak the vision, say it out loud to a friend, tell a colleague.

Then you write it, which brings it powerfully into your heart as your heart is connected to your arms and hands.

Once in your heart you start to accept the vision as potential reality; you embrace it and love it as a part of you.

Then around your belly, in your gut, you become empowered by it. You feel it with purpose and it starts to drive your actions.

You find pleasure in pursuing it.

It then makes its way into your root and your sense of security, your foundation of existence. What part of you lies there at your root? You guessed it. Pussy.

You begin noticing how your vision is now showing itself in physical form in your life. You realize you’ve manifested something! You become aware that this pattern begins in your crown and ends at your pussy. Yup, it truly does.

A major part of this process of creation is that it takes time for life to catch up with your imagination. All the while, you can notice that your turn on interacts with each stage and phase, letting you know you’re onto something, and on the right path.  


I reflect on everytime I seal my Kettlebell Kundalini class. With our hands together at our hearts, I thank the students for trusting in me and I tell them I see their greatness within, a namaste. They call back, namaste. I clench. Down there. And I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I know I’m in purpose and that’s an experience of pure pleasure.


I invite you as a fellow woman to begin to build or to deepen your relationship with her. Trust in her intelligence. Get in your body and out of your mind, even if for just a moment. Feel into what turns you on and see what transpires.


Rise Gatherings retreat experiences set the stage for you to explore aspects of womanhood and celebrate them. Stoke your inner fire at our upcoming Day of Renewal retreat on September 16!

Ignite Your Feminine Fire!